The marriage has important implications and effects, it is a link between the husband and wife which obliges each of them to respect the rights of others: physical, social and material rights.
Spouses must coexist in the good and fulfill their duty with indulgence and simplicity, and without forcing each other nor delaying the execution. Allah says,
{But consort with them in kindness} (Soorah an-Nisâ’, 4 :19)
{And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them} (Soorah al-Baqarah, 2 :288)
Thus, the wife must give his right to her husband, and if the spouses respect their rights one towards the other, their life will be happy and understanding will continue between them. And if it is the opposite, then opposition and divergence will appear, and their life will be miserable.
The revealed Texts recommending good behavior towards women and taking into account their nature are very numerous; they also show that perfection in this area is impossible.
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) About the Rights of Wives
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, ‘Act kindly towards woman, for they were created from a rib and the most crooked part of a rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it you will break it, and if you leave it alone it will remain crooked; so, act kindly toward women.’
And in another version, ‘The woman is like a rib; if you try to straighten her, she will break. So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some crookedness and breaking it is divorce.’
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, ‘A believer must not bear enmity against a believing woman. If he does not like an aspect of her behavior, he will like another.’
In these hadiths, the Prophet ﷺ showed his community the way the husband must behave towards his wife and be happy with what he can get from her, because the nature from which it was created is not perfect; it must necessarily have some crookedness. The husband can only enjoy her if he takes her as she was created.
These hadiths also show that the husband must do share things between good sides and bad sides that can be found in his wife: if he hates an aspect of her behavior, that he counterbalances it with an aspect of her behavior that he loves, and he must not only watch her under the eye of anger or contempt.
Many men want everything to be perfect with their wife, although it is impossible ; therefore, they stay sad and cannot find happiness with their wives, and this can lead them to divorce, as the Prophet (ﷺ) said, ‘So if you want to get benefit from her, do so while she still has some crookedness and breaking it is divorce.’ The husband must be forgiving and close his eyes to everything his wife does, as long as this does not affect the religion or honour.
Rights of Wife on Her Husband
Among the rights of the wife on her husband is that he pays for her to mandatory expenses such as food, drink, clothing, housing and all that flows from it, according to the word of Allah,
{The duty of feeding and clothing nursing mothers in a seemly manner is upon the father of the child} (Soorah al-Baqarah, 2 :233)
And the Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Their rights over you are that you should feed and clothe them well.’ He was also questioned about the rights of the wives on her husbands and he said, ‘That you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and do not strike her face. Do not malign her and do not keep apart from her, except in the house’.
Among the rights of the wife on her husband is that he must be fair between her and his other wife.
If he has a second wife, he must be fair in spending, housing and everything it is possible to be fair, as favouring one of them is part of the great sins.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, ‘Whoever has two wives and favours one of them over the other, will come on the Day of Resurrection with one of his sides leaning’.
And in everything else where it is not possible to be (completely) fair such as love, well-being, the man commits no sin (to lean more towards one than the other) because this happens without that him doing anything. Allah says,
{You will not be able to deal equally between (your) wives, however much you wish (to do so).} (Soorah an-Nisâ, 4 :129)
How Prophet ﷺ Treated his Wives
The Prophet ﷺ dealt equally between his wives, he said, ‘O Allah this is my share for what I have in my power, therefore do not blame me for what is in Your power and that I do not know’.
But if he grants an additional day to one with the agreement of the one who gives her day, there is no problem, as was the case when the Prophet ﷺ granted to Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) her day in addition to the day of Sawdah (May Allah be pleased with her) after she has given it to her.
Similarly, at the time of the disease which resulted in his death, the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) asked, ‘Where will I be tomorrow? Where will I be tomorrow?’ And his wives allowed him to go where he wanted ; he then remained with Â’ishah (May Allah be pleased with her) until his death.
Rights of the Husband on his Wife
With respect to the rights of the husband on his wife, they are more important than the rights she has on him, according to the word of Allah,
{And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them.} (Soorah al-Baqarah, 2 :228)
The husband has authority over his wife; he gives what is good for her, he educates and guides her, as Allah says,
{Men are in charge of women, because Allah has men the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women.} (Soorah an-Nisâ, 4 :34)
Among the rights of the husband over his wife is that she obeys him in what is not a disobedience to Allah, as she must keep his secrets and his property, and the Prophet (ﷺ) said, ‘If prostration was allowed then I would ask wives to prostrate themselves in front of their husbands.’
The Prophet ﷺ said, ‘Whenever a man calls his wife to bed and she refuses to come, the angels curse her until morning’.
Among his rights on her is that she does nothing, which deprives him of full enjoyment, even if it is because of a supererogatory worship, according to the word of the Prophet (ﷺ), ‘It is not lawful for a woman to fast while her husband is resident except with his permission and she should not admit anyone to his house except with his permission’.
The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) has made the satisfaction of the husband towards his wife one of the causes that will provide her entrance to paradise.
According to Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her), the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, ‘If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise’.
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